Weirdest dream...

Had the weirdest dream yesterday night.. when i'm suppose to be studying for anat, i fell asleep. sigh.. This dream..... couldnt really recall about it but it's something about me going for a vacation. And during the vacation, i had to share a bed with Mr X (which i had no idea who cos couldnt see his face). It felt like as if i knew this Mr X for a very long time and i have feelings for him (haha =D i wonder who is he). We were kinda shy and tensed cos we're forced to share this bed together but then after a while, the atmosphere changed. He put his hand under me and pulled me closer. At first i'm shocked, then i relaxed into his hug and slept. I woke up from the dream the moment when i felt asleep in the dream. Wakaka =D i wonder whether i'm predicting the future or i'm too stressed up r i'm just too desperate????? LOL =D Either way, i need to concentrate to pass my exam this sat. Or else, i'm dead cos i need to fly to Egypt the next day!! Gotta go back to anat now. Gambateh!!!!!!!!!!

2nd post of the year!!

Finished my histo final exam yesterday.. hooray!! I'm so relieved that i got a 4. Though it's not a 5, but then i'm super happy. ngek ngek.. wanna know y? It's because i didnt study enough for this exam. So i didnt regret getting that mark. One more anat exam then i'm free =D Will study harder for anat cos it's harder. Off to Egypt the next day.. cant wait for that day to come.. Gambateh!!!!

1st post..

My 1st post for the new year =) yet it wont be a happy post. With the finals coming up in less than 2 weeks plus there's rat problem again in my block makes me want to scream out loud. AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sigh....... just a scream in my heart. No voice coming out. Maybe i'll do it for real under my pillow later. I'm just tired of everything..... for once, i want to be invisible and dont need to care about all the problems in the world. Though i know that the problems wont go away, but i'm tired of making the first step to solve the problems. Why cant others try to take the first move? Why am i always the one (though there are times other will but not often)? Is it in my nature to always be the one to make sure everything is alright? Why am i like that? Why cant i just dont bother about all these till others say or do something? Why????????? For once, i just want to be different....

Pheww...

At last, i cleared all my exam. Except for anat of course. But felt so relieved. My shoulder are way much lighter than usual. At last can concentrate only on anat for the weekend. Hopefully can clear everything by next week. Hope that the teacher will be more lenient. Gambateh gambateh!!

Thanks Dee and Mee...

5 more weeks to Histo final, 6 weeks to Anat final!!!! OMG and i'm not even anywhere near my target till this moment. I'm so screwed =( Though i'm now more motivated and determined to study, clearing up my colloqs, but somehow, sometimes, i'll just drift back to the me last time and lost control of myself again. Luckily i manage to gain control of my thoughts everytime this happens. Thinking bout my parents works everytime. Thinking how much hope they'd put on me, how much support they'd given me, how much money they'd saved to put me through this course, how much fight they'd gone through arguing if they'd made the right choice to send me here, how much worries they'd felt worrying if i'm healthy or doing alright here, how much sleepless night when i told them i'm sick, etc.. All these are beyond any price that anyone can pay. How can i ever repay them? I feel guilty everytime thinking of their money that i'd spent coming to Russia. With no income coming in, with Yin and William still young and need money too to study, did i made a wrong choice coming here? Maybe i should have stay studying in Malaysia. But there's nothing else that i can do after all these other than concentrating on my studies, be a doctor and make them proud...

Another month gone..

November is going to end soon and i am so out of my schedule. DAMN!! Only left another month for me to study for anat and histo. There're toooooooo many things to read and yet so little time! Help me!! sigh... this is always my problem. Last minute study everytime. Seriously need to change my attitude, if not i'll end up in a big trouble this time. One more month! One more month! sigh..... Gambateh bah....

I'm feeling blue..

I'm not sure what happened to me but i'd been feeling super moody for the past 2 weeks. Whether it is because of studies or because of MASSAD or because of something else which i dunno.. Have no mood to do anything and emotional swings are pretty frequent. What happen to me?? I just cant figure it out. Calling back home wont help either. Will only worry my parents. Who should i talk to? Who can i trust to with my dilemma? Who can give me the advide i need and want to hear? Who is the one????????