Dissapointment & Hope...

I wish things could have been different and work the way i wanted. But they weren't. I just have to step forward with courage and accept the way things have to be. Cos time just doesnt turn back for me to reverse all the mistake that i had done....

This is a short poem i found that expressed how i feel right now...

This morning I woke up,

Bursting with confidence,

Overflowing with excitement,

I was convinced I'd done it,

Convinced I had succeeded

When I found out the news,

I was crushed,

Feeling empty and broken,

But somehow I managed,

To pull myself together,

Determined not to cry

Determined to be fine

Disappointment can be bitter

You feel as if you've lost your worth

But without disappointment,

We have nowhere left to go

Hope can be amazing,

You feel ready to face a better future

Because without hope,

We are forever lost

This morning I woke up,

Grasping for perfection,

Tonight I fall asleep --

Perfection eluding me,

But hope residing in my heart.

poem by Beautiful Simplicity Poetry

I'm officially 21!!

OH MY GOD!!! I'm 21!! Feeling so old but young at the same time. New chapter of my life had just begun.... it feels just like a blink of the eyes and i had gone through so many in these 21 years.. mostly happy and wonderful but there're times that're sad too. overall, i lead a very happy, carefree life (all thanks to my parents that took wonderful care for me). but i cant wait for the next 21 years to come again. wat will i turn out to be (of course i'll be a doctor, but how successful am i)? how will i look like? will i be married? how many kids will i have? haha maybe it's too early for all these thoughts but no harm thinking bout them :D most important now is to finish all my exams and go back m'sia in the next 3 weeks:) the rest, i'll take it as the day comes.....

p/s: these are the presents that i got from my frens in moscow

I'm turning 21 soon!!!!!

21!!!! I'm joining the real adult club soon. OMG!! My frens put up a surprise party for me yesterday. (but seriously speaking, i'm not really surprise cos i kinda guess they're gonna celebrate for me :D) but any how, i'm still touched and happy :D Got a huge teddy bear from my frens (Actually i kinda requested for it but i didnt know they took it seriously) . I heard that they bought it like during winter break. That's like half a year ago. WOW!! I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo touch. THANK YOU so much. U guys are awesome. LOVE you guys to the max. There're other presents too from ming yee, mun yee and anna. thanks ppl... We ate, talked, cut cake, took some idiot pics with my teddy. Had alot of fun yesterday. Will always remember that day forever :) XOXO

My bear bear

One Big Happy Family

Veshny, me & Sangeetha

Leatrice, Yee Chiun & me

Adeline, me & Yi Heng

Chee Wei, Nalihni, me & Abhi

Ming Yee, Man Kit, Z Han, Mun Yee, YC & Hong Ching

Jo, Betty & Lily

Ming Yee, me & Mee Yean

Me & my darling bear bear

1st pose

2nd pose

Busy body???

WTF!! getting more and more annoyed by this fella. almost everything that this fella does annoys the hell out of me.

1) complaining that ppl talking behind her back but she's also doing the same thing (and she's the one that started it first, so dont blame others)

2) saying that ppl are busybody and dont ask her directly if they wants to know bout her. pls la, if u're not that weird, we would had ask u straight. we tried to ask and most of the time u said there's nothing. so it's not our fault for not asking u idiot.

3) writing a blog and dont want others to find out. if u dont want ppl to find out, pls write a diary instead and hide it. ppl will eventually find out u're writing a blog though u dont say it out cos u're staying with others.

4) etc....

Just hope that......... nvm.........

G.I.F.T. BBQ

Went for BBQ with GIFT bible study yesterday at a park near my hostel. Luckily it didnt rain yesterday. The weather was fine though it's not sunny but it's freaking cold. This is the first time i BBQ-ed in the temperature of 8*c. We walked to the park and found the perfect spot (by the lake side) for the BBQ. But at that spot, the wind was blowing and everyone is trying to stay near the fire for heat. Setting up the BBQ set, started cooking, then in between ate, joked around, talking,etc... it was fun :)
But half way, there's some stupid thing happen. A few of us tried to go find woods to make a camp fire, crossed a bridge that's already broken, jumped on it, and broke it and scolded by 3 russians who passed by. idiot!! it's already broken la... and the russians treated to call the authority and tell our uni admin. watever la... so we changed out venue to a higher ground and to avoid any troubles. Continue our cooking and then we played a few games. It was fun, and everyone is enjoying themselves.
Towards the end, there's a surprise for me and Rebecca (though for me, it's not that surprise cos i'm the one that went to buy the cake). We're celebrating the May babies. hehe... So they sang b'day song for us, a special song that made for both of us and then fed us cake. And there goes the cream fighting. Shouldnt had chose the cake with soooo much cream. But Jivan already warned me but that's the cake that's worth it's price. hahaha.. but then dun care la.. it's fun anyway. Most of them attacked me instead of Rebecca. so i got cream all over my face, hands, hair and some on my clothes. After that we cleared off the area and walked back hostel at about 8.30 pm. Wow.. we're out for almost 6 hours. Damn tired, thirsty and in the need to pee. hehe.. reach hostel, take shower to cleared off the cream, and then had movie night with my frens. :)

Congrats!!!!

Got the news just now that my sis got through her interview for Sime Darby and now heading for the final interview next tuesday. I'm so proud of u sis.. I knew u had done well in the previous 2 interviews. Hopefully u'll be among the 8 that will be awarded with this scholarship. U should be super happy now since u wont be continuing matrix. Can come back this week and everything will return to normal, as it should be. But if u really didnt get that scholarship (touch wood), dad already said that u'll be going sunway for a'level. So enjoy ur last few days in Kedah, take it as a tiring vacation :)

Dunno Wat I'm Thinking...

I've no idea wat i've been doing for the whole day other than online, watch movie, eat and take shower. Didnt feel like studying though finals are around the corner. Need to clear off my pendings b4 27th May (first paper = physic). sigh... I think i better start wat i'm suppose to do for the whole day. Luckily tomoro's a holiday...

One Day Outing :)

Went for a boat trip along Moscow River yesterday.. with my groupmates, Hong Ching and Yeong Chiang and my bio lecturer. It was fun. Waited for the boat for bout 1/2 hour. It was SUPER hot and sunny that time. I almost melted due to the weather. LOL.. but other than the weather, everything was superb. The view, the wind, etc.. Saw lots of beautiful buildings along the river. And we saw a theme park!! Can go there next time when there's free time. The boat ride last bout 1 hour plus.

my groupmates, Hong Ching & Yeong Chiang

me & teacher

Man Kit, Abhi, Mee Yean & me

me & Mee Yean

On our way back to metro station, we passed a church. So we just went in to have a visit. The church is very beautiful. The drawings on the church wall, though some already faded, but still they're beautiful... Walked around the church, saw ppl praying. Good experiece. After the visit, my frens planned to walk around the brown line but we ended up at red square. haha.. So me, Chee Wei and Mee Yean ended up shopping and the rest went somewhere else. Reach back hostel at bout 9 something. My feet were sored and tired from all the walking (i'm wearing high heels). Ate my dinner, took my shower, watch an episode of 'House MD' then i dozed off....

a small lake on the way to church

in front of the church

one of the church building

i've no idea wat's this but it's beautiful

forced to wear this ugly outfit inside the church compound

XOXO

My sis didnt get her JPA scholarship despite her good result. Damn it!! Hopefully ur reappeal will gets through. In the meantime, just bear wih matrix. Dont worry too much and enjoy urself there. It'll be fun and a challenge for u (since this is the first time u'll be out from house for so long and u DONT eat chilis). I'll call u more often. So no worries k... XOXO

Performance

Went to watch a performance yesterday with my bio lecturer. The hall is at a music school. I'm so excited when i reach there. The place is BEAUTIFUL!! It's her husband's eldest daughter (her husband remarried after the 1st wife past away) and a post-grad student performing. Kinda like a duet on piano (daughter) and violin (post-grad student). 3 songs were performed. One from Tchaikovsky, one from Brahms and one more i've no idea which composer d. It's well performed. The performance was bout 1 hour. Manage to take a few pics with the performers b4 going back. Cant wait to go for another performance in the future.......

Good Luck my dear sis...

Got the news that my dearest sis is going matrix. It's a very sudden decision by my dad. So my sis is not mentally prepared yet. But i think she'll be able to manage it. In the meantime, i'll pray that she got her JPA scholarship. Since that's wat she hope for cos she doesnt want to go matrix. But if u really didnt get, jsust try ur best in Kedah. One year will fly very quickly. I'll go visit u there when i'm back in m'sia. LOVE YOU very much!!!!!!!!!! XOXO

MASSAD 09

MASSAD!! The most hip, important, cant-wait event of the year. The event started at 5 pm. I performed on that day. Opening Chinese dance. Went there early for rehersal. The performance went ok. Not exactly wat we hope for but it's ok. The music went wrong half way, but we manage to pull it off. After the performance, got to relax. hehe... my eyes were so tired half way watching the performance due to the contact lense. I've been wearing it since 10 in the morning. Alot of exciting performance (dances, magic show, lucky draw, etc..) which i missed a few of it cos i'm changing that time. After the performance, we had our dinner. The food were not bad. After eating, as usual, picture time!!! Took quite alot of pics that day. Went back at around 10 something and reach hostel at 11 pm. But it doesnt end there. After reaching hostel, took a few more pics with my groupmates. So tired after a long day. Clean up myself and went to sleep at about 3 am. zzzzzz.......... The whole event got alot of big thumbs up from everyone. Well done my 2nd year senior. Next year will be my batch turn. Hopefully it'll be a blast too.

me & ming yee b4 performance

me & jinli

me & mankit

me & a group of leng luis (including chris)

me & chee wei

me & chris

me, leatrice, chee wei & yee chiun

leng luis >.< leng luis again :D

Group 12a